Some people feel the hard part of life has had a negative impact and made them less than they could have been. To that I would say, you are looking at too small a picture.
Sometimes I like to ponder what my soul had in mind in choosing my particular set of challenges in this lifetime. I go back to before I was born and imagine myself having a conversation with a muchly trusted guide. The first thing we assess is why incarnate on earth as a human at all. Then we assess what soul powers I have developed thus far that I can use in this coming lifetime Once that is established, then it is a matter of, given my motivation of what I want to use this human experience for, what kinds of challenges would help move me in the direction I want to go.
I can almost feel what I am feeling during this consultation. I might feel excitement, knowing this new lifetime will be an adventure, whatever else it ends up being. I might feel fear, that I might fail in my objectives or that I will have taken on more than I can handle and will suffer greatly. I include in my imaginings that the one who is my guide knows me well and though I am the chooser, I am seen, known and loved as I make the choice. Who knows, maybe the guide has veto power if my choice is too off the charts.
That is fantasy (though I sense it bears some similarities to the before life incarnate way of things). Being here on the planet is very real. Looking at the evidence, I am satisfied that every single hard thing I have ever been through was chosen by me, and with a purpose, of making me better, stronger, wiser and more compassionate i.e. transformed. Here on earth, our swords get tempered in the flame. It appears from where I stand, the hotter the fire, the stronger the tempered steel.
I think of Abraham Lincoln and the intense dealing with his own dark moods he had to shoulder. Add to that, the horror of being the one to make the decision that ended in 600,000 deaths for the sake of a step up in our ethical consciousness. Add to that a difficult marriage and death of two of his children early in their lives. I cannot even begin to imagine how he navigated those waters. I am however convinced that his strength came from what he taught himself how to endure. He was the kindling. The strides he took, as a result, were enormous.
We don't all sign up to grow through such extremes, but as an incoming soul, the likelihood is that what you chose, you did so for what felt to your soul like very good reasons. We need to trust that, and love our valor.The ones with the easier lives are not necessarily the luckier ones.